false memories

They say the fabric of memory is pliable and self-serving. It can be revised by the simple act of re-hashing things. I don’t know if this has anything to do with it but I often recollect scenes from movies I enjoy. Lately I’ve been watching a lot of French films with the actress Audrey Tautou ..who I just adore. I also saw her in the movie ‘Da Vinci Code’ last night. This morning when Audrey Tautou popped into my head ..I mistook her for the character she plays in the movie. A character of potentially game-changing consequence to humanity. It felt eerie. It was just a flash but I’m wondering if this isn’t also some kind of false memory. Perhaps I’m overthinking it. I often blur the distinction between fantasy and reality. I know I confuse scenes from the movies with episodes from my past.

egocentricity

I saw the movie ‘The Girl’ last night. It takes place on the border between the U.S. and Mexico in Texas. Reminded me of how egocentric I can be. So can Ashley ..the main character. She over-estimates her role in the death of Rosa’s mother then undertakes an enormous journey to reunite Rosa with her family in Oaxaca .. explaining to them how it was her irresponsible actions at the border that lead to the mother’s death. After hearing what happened .. Rosa’s grandmother disagrees and says: “No, it was the river that killed her.” That and the pursuit of her dream. She considers Ashley a saint for bringing her granddaughter home safely. This confounds Ashley who places herself at the center of events. Even her father tells her he’s not going to bail her out of this one. It wasn’t her fault though. Illegal border crossings are risky business. It was underway long before she got there.